Wed, 27 Oct 1999 22:50

Psalm 42

Dear Family and Friends,

Hi! Knocker came to the hospital after work today so that I could go home tonight; he insisted on spending the night tonight with Logan even though he has to be at work tomorrow morning. I am thankful for the two hours I was able to spend with Adam tonight (Grandma G is keeping him at our home for this luxury). It was hard to put him to bed knowing that I will be gone before he wakes up.

Logan had a great day and night. We got a pretty decent night's sleep as Logan is no longer under close observation. His temp stayed completely normal. His blood culture did come back positive for infection today, though; one of his 3 lines (he has an infusaport under his skin and a double lumen hickman catheter hanging out of his chest) contained some (gram negative) bacteria in it. This bacteria was likely the cause of his high fever since Sunday. PRAISE: Now that his fever is gone, his ANC count skyrocketed today (from a lowly 2 to 400, where 1000 is considered neutropenic). His doctor won't consider releasing him until he meets the following criteria: he must have an ANC of 500 AND must be on antiobiotic for 10 days following the day of all negative cultures (He may allow us to go home the last 2-3 days of 10). They re-cultured his 3 lines again today to see if the infections have cleared up (it will take 48-72 hours to get the results back); if any cultures are found positive then 10 days will start from when all cultures are negative. This could be quite a long stay if any cultures come back positive again. The doctor warned us that sometimes lines stay infected; if so, he would need to have them removed and surgically re-inserted again.

Logan and I are getting acclimated to hospital life. The 'hospital school' has been spending time with him each day for about 1/2 hour (when he is awake when they come). He made a colorful painting today and I hung it up with medical cloth tape. Also, when he was taking a nap, I sneaked off to the play room and made a mobile with some young patients. I got to know a boy named Michael pretty well. He is 17 and roomed right next to Logan. He is the most humble, polite person I have ever met. He has Ewing's Sarcoma, a bone and muscle cancer that has spread to his brain. Today, they told the family that he is terminal; They sent him home today because they can't do anything else for him. He has had all the chemo and radiation that he can have. Please lift this young man up in your prayers; he has had a hard family life and doesn't have any support other than his grandparents.

I wish I had the time to answer everyones emails, notes, cards and to thank everyone personally for all prayers, kindnesses, meals, words of encouragement, ect. Even people we don't even know have written to encourage us. This has meant more than words can say. Speaking of more than words can say, I want to share parts of Psalm 42 with everyone. (Our care pastor read this to me today at the hospital and it was also theme of songs on sunday at church) This psalm starts out with the analogy of a deer longing for water while severely thirsty. This is how much David longs for God's comfort. "My tears have been my food day and night, while men say to me all day long, Where is your God?" David concludes "Why so downcast O my Soul? Put your hope in God". Reminding me that it is real to experience sorrow, disappointment and other emotions but that ultimately I must confidently choose to trust in God in the midst of problems. (I don't pretend to know what the original intention of this psalm is but this is a kind of application for me that has given me some comfort today and earlier this week.)

Specific prayer requests: Logan will quickly recover from his blood infection and be able to come home as quickly as it will be safe for him to. His counts will rise steadily (platelets are on their way down and are expecting to possibly transfuse again; please, pray that they will come up on their own w/o this). Pray that his tumors will shrink away to nothing (from this past chemo) allowing him to be a candidate for bone marrow transplant. Pray that there is not tumor involvement in the optic chiasm or if so it will shrink to nothing. Pray that Adam will be secure and happy and that it will not be a hardship on those people who are sacrificing time to help us with Adam. And pray for good communication for Knocker and I and for us to be able to spend some quality time together.

Thank you all "more than words can say",

Laura